It’s not at all uncommon for a new mom to come into a therapist’s office overwhelmed and panicked that she broke her baby. Usually, the story is some version of the following:
My baby was so sweet and quiet and happy in the hospital. They barely cried at all, and when they did, I would feed or change them and everything would be fine. But now, we’ve been home for six weeks, and my baby won’t stop crying. Nothing I do helps– they’re not hungry; they don’t need to be changed. They just scream and scream for hours on end. My baby hates me. I’m not cut out for this. I’m a terrible mother.
Of course when you’re sleep deprived, hormonal and bleeding, still sore from delivery, and charged with the care of a ceaselessly screaming infant, the emotion-centers of your brain take over and you start having negative thoughts that you’re the worst mother in the world. The truth is, there is likely nothing wrong with your baby; your baby does not hate you; you’ve almost certainly done nothing wrong. This type of increasingly intense crying is part of normal newborn development. Your baby has entered the Period of PURPLE Crying, and it is temporary. The seemingly ceaseless crying will end.
First introduced by pediatrician Dr. Ronald G. Barr, The Period of PURPLE Crying is a helpful mnemonic and part of an evidenced based prevention program designed to support new parents and caregivers in understanding and tolerating the early increase of infant crying. The letters in PURPLE stand for:
Peak of Crying: As part of normal newborn development, your baby will cry more and more each week, peaking between 6-8 weeks, then decreasing in months 3-5. Interestingly, this is not unique to humans! Research has found other mammals that breastfeed– like chimpanzees, monkeys, and even rats– exhibit similar increases in inconsolable crying.
Unexpected: Crying can come and go seemingly without reason. It makes sense that when we’re feeling helpless and overwhelmed, we desperately want there to be a reason so can prevent it from happening again. The hard truth is that there’s no preventing the increased crying– it’s just a part of normal infant development.
Resists soothing: Your baby may not stop, no matter what you do. There are certain things you can try: check for basic needs (tired? hungry? diaper change?); go for a walk, swaddle; skin-to-skin contact; talk or sing to your baby. Even still, there will be times that no matter what you do, your baby will continue to cry.
Pain-like face: Your baby may look like they are in pain, even when they’re not. However, if you’re concerned about your baby’s crying, it’s important to seek support and have them examined by a doctor to make sure they’re okay.
Long lasting: research shows that babies can cry for as many as five hours everyday during this period, and still be healthy and normal. This can vary, just as babies vary by height, weight and temperament.
Evening: Oftentimes babies cry more in the late afternoon or evening. You may hear other parents or caregivers refer to this as baby’s “witching hour.” The reasons for this can include sensitivity to stimulation, fatigue and frustration at being unable to self soothe, gas pains, or growth spurts.
In our next post, we discuss the 5 S’s and strategies for caring for and soothing yourself and baby during the Period of Purple Crying. If you’re struggling in the postpartum period or with the transition to motherhood, or would like to learn more about perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) visit our pages on women’s mental health and postpartum depression.